Admiration
by Open Casket Ceremony
Summary: Hitsugaya Toshiro always admired Kurosaki Ichigo. But, as he was once told, admiration is the furthest thing from understanding. IchiHitsu, oneshot.


Author's Note: I'm so sorry I haven't been updating my continous fanfics, and instead, I've been opting for a lot more one-shots than usual. Well, as I said before, yes, I am slightly afraid of fic commitment. I don't know when I will ever get around to updating those - sorry! But if I get the urge, I will. For nows, you'll just have to keep living with my cruddy one shots! Yessss! As usual with this one, I would love your feedback. I, however, don't take writing - be it essays for school, fanfictions, whatever - very serious at all, but I still would like to see more constructive criticism, if that is possible! Don't be afraid to hurt my feelings, just tell me your honest opinions! Thanks, and may I present to you my newest one-shot...

* * *

**Admiration**

**by Open Casket Ceremony**

* * *

_I have always admired you, Kurosaki Ichigo._

_Someone once told me that admiration, however, is the thing furthest from understanding._

_And I believe that to be very true._

_I admire your strength. I admire your determination. I admire the way you fight to protect anyone and everyone, no matter who they are or what relation they have with you. That is the kind of man that I know you to be._

_All this time, I have watched you from afar, from the sidelines. Wondering, do you ever notice me? Do you ever think of me? These are questions to which the answers I may never know. But yes, when someone told me that you can never truly understand one you admire so much as I do of you, I think that I know what they mean._

_Because I am far from understanding, or even knowing, the real you._

* * *

The classroom was bustling with noise at the beginning of a new day of school. Students were just filing in, still chattering about last night's television shows, or whatever it is the average teenager would want to talk about.

Not quite the chatterbox himself, Ichigo had been quick to slip wordlessly into his seat, his brow furrowed in its normal way.

He said his hellos to his classmates - Orihime, Ishida, Chad - and then readied himself for the new lesson as their teacher entered the room, roll sheet under one arm and lesson plan in the other.

Now, Ichigo, despite the normal teenage life he was trying to live, was still very closely connected with Soul Society in means of communication. So, he had recieved word recently that Soul Society would be sending down an officer today to keep an eye on him for a bit - with the hollow and all, things were getting pretty complicated. This was kind of annoying, Ichigo thought. He didn't need a fucking baby-sitter, for god's sake. He was old enough, smart enough, and strong enough to look after himself. And he didn't want some random soul reaper poking their nose into his business - and his personal life in the human world.

Still, though, he wondered who they would send down to him. He mentally went down a list of all the captains, wondering which one he would be stuck with for the rest of who knows how long.

The Sotaichou? Nah. He'd be too busy to bother with him.

Soifon? That scary second-division chick? The thought of it creeped him out.

Or maybe the fourth-division captain, Unohana? She had a lot of people to take care of, and he didn't suppose that she would have time to come down here either.

Byakuya? It seemed possible. Which was the scary part.

Or that big giant fox man? Oh god, that would be pretty embarassing. And inconvenient.

The dude in the pink kimono...Kyoraku Shunsui, he was named? Oh, boy. He didn't need anyone hitting on his female classmates.

Perhaps it would be Kenpachi. If it was...then his life would probably be over.

And he was pretty sure they wouldn't torture him that much as to send that creepy twelfth-division captain, that Kurotsuchi guy over.

And, Ukitake was normally ill and in bed. He most likely wouldn't be the one.

Ichigo knew he was forgetting someone. There was one more captain, one more possibility. He racked his brain, trying to remember all the faces of the lineup of Gotei 13's captains, trying to pinpoint that forgotten face. Then, it hit him.

"Toshiro," he mused aloud, liking the way the name slid so smoothly from his tongue, "Yeah, Toshiro...I wouldn't mind him."

He had remembered seeing that face around Soul Society - a kind of cute face, at that, he had to admit. He had heard stories and all sorts of weird rumors about the kid. He was a _prodigy_. A genius. Talented. But he had also heard that the little squirt was quite the stuck-up, spoiled, and cold-hearted brat.

At that moment, he heard the teacher clear her throat, and the strawberry looked up, snapping out of his mental musings.

"We have a new student joining us today!" the teacher announced cheerily, waving her lesson plan up and down in a distracted fashion. "He should be here any minute...So be on your best behavior and make sure you punks are all extra-nice to him today, okay? Ah, here he is!"

The door opened, and all eyes moved to the front of the classroom as their new classmate slowly entered.

Aha.

So it _was_ him.

The room was instantly filled with murmurs of curiosity.

"He's _pretty_, isn't he?"

"I wonder where he's from?"

"Wow, he must be a movie star or something!"

"Look at those eyes!"

"And that hair! It's got to be bleached!"

Ichigo opened and closed his mouth like a mentally retarded goldfish. He couldn't seem to find any words. He had never seen the elusive captain of the tenth division up-close before, and he had to say, in the crisp, freshly ironed school uniform, he didn't look half bad at all.

In fact, the strawberry had to admit...he was gorgeous.

"My name is Hitsugaya Toshiro," came the smooth, even voice, "And I'm very honored to have all of you as my new peers."

He felt the boy's eyes moving to him, and he could do little more than wave stupidly, his mouth still hanging open.

"Do you know him, Kurosaki?" whispered the student sitting next to him.

"Uh-huh...Sort of...A little..." Ichigo replied absently. It was clear he wasn't listening, as the majority of his attention was focused on the snow-haired ice prince at the front of the room. Said "ice prince" was now strolling casually down the rows of desks to take the empty seat, located conveniently next to the subsitute shinigami.

Hitsugaya seated himself and looked back up to the teacher as the lesson resumed, as if Ichigo was made of air.

"Hey, Toshiro," the strawberry whispered.

Hitsugaya didn't even turn to look at him.

"What do you want?"

"You're here...on orders, right? You know, to...to watch over me or something."

"Stop talking so loudly," Hitsugaya hissed, "I will _not_ have my cover blown by some mere _subsitute_ shinigami."

"Well, sorry," Ichigo snapped, suddenly annoyed by the petite boy's cocky attitude, "Sorry I'm not some..._boy genius_ like you are."

"What did you say?"

"Oh, sorry, did you not hear me? Not such a genius, are you?"

"Shut up."

"_Look at me, look at me,_" Ichigo hissed back in a high-pitched, mocking voice, sticking out his lip and flailing his hands out in front of him, "_Look at me, I'm Hitsugaya Toshiro, I'm a clever, spoiled, pretty little princess from Soul Society, ooh, that barbarian subsitute shinigami is sitting next to me, whatever shall I do?_"

Hitsugaya stared at Ichigo in disbelief.

"Look, Kurosaki," he snapped coldly, "I'm not going to enjoy this mission any more than you will. I could be doing something useful with my time, but instead, I'm spending it on _you. _Can you at least make this easier for both of us and _not_ be such a pain in the ass?"

"I don't see why I should. Why should I respect you? You look down on me and think I'm some piece of trash."

Hitsugaya was quiet for a moment. He looked away before muttering, "Quite the contrary, actually."

"What do you mean?"

"I...I actually quite admire you, Kurosaki."

"Huh?"

At that moment, the bell rang, signalling the beginning of the break, and wordlessly, Hitsugaya stood, gathered his books, and left.

Ichigo stared dumbly at his retreating back, wondering what he could possibly mean by that.

_I actually quite admire you, Kurosaki..._

Blinking, he stood, following the rest of the students out the door, deciding it would be in his best interests to find out.

He scanned the crowds of students heading to the schoolyard. Fortunately, it wasn't too hard to spot the tufts of snowy-white hair, and he was quick to start off towards the young captain.

"Oi, Toshiro!"

Hitsugaya merely walked faster, his schoolbooks clutched to his chest.

"Toshiro! Hey, Toshiro!"

Before he could catch up with the boy, however - another group did. Hitsugaya was quickly surrounded by the group of guys - guys that didn't look like the kind of people Ichigo would be very fond of. Call them gangsters, if you will, but any idiot could see that they were up to no good.

"How's it going, new kid?"

Hitsugaya stopped in his tracks. His hold on the books tightened, and he only glared at the students in front of him with a look that seemed cold enough to bring winter right back to Karakura. "That's not your concern," he answered in distastefully pursed lips.

"Look," one of them said, "We saw that Kurosaki punk trying to get fresh with you back there..."

"He wasn't trying to do anything."

"Yeah, whatever." He reached out and grabbed Hitsugaya by the wrist, giving it a sharp pull.

The textbooks fell noisily to the ground.

Hitsugaya was silent.

"Anyway, just letting you know, new kid..."

"I don't care about what you have to say. Let go of me."

The student's grip on the boy's wrist merely tightened. "...Just letting you know," he continued with a suggestive wink, "There's no need to bother with that Kurosaki. He's nothing special compared to...say, one of us."

"I doubt it," Hitsugaya answered coldly. "Don't talk about Kurosaki that way."

At this point, Ichigo was starting to wonder why Hitsugaya wasn't bothering to fight back. Normally, he could kick all their asses in a matter of seconds, so why wasn't he now? Why was he letting himself be bullied?

"Getting defensive, are we?" came the mocking voices, "Tell you what, kid, maybe you don't know what kind of guy's going to show you a good time yet, 'cause you're young, but let me tell you, kid, that Kurosaki's not good enough for someone as pretty as you."

"Oh, and _you_ are?" Hitsugaya answered sarcastically, "I don't believe that you'd be half the man Kurosaki is."

"What is it with you, kid? Why do you keep defending that Kurosaki punk? What, is he your boyfriend or something?"

"...No. No, he isn't."

"Then what's your problem?"

Hitsugaya was quiet for a moment, before he finally answered in a soft voice barely above a whisper.

"I have a lot of respect for him. Kurosaki, he...he's a good person. I admire him for that."

The group instantly broke out into laughter. "You respect him? Kurosaki? That good-for-nothing piece of garbage?"

"He's not garbage! You don't even know!" Hitsugaya snapped angrily. "Now let _go_ of me!"

"Then you're trash, too, just like him!" the one holding onto his wrist announced with a sneer, "And _this _is all trash is good for!" With a swift, vicious movement, he struck Hitsugaya roughly across the face. "You want to be that worthless Kurosaki's little whore? Fine then, be my guest, but not until _I'm_ done with you first!"

"I thought I already told you..." Hitsugaya answered, his voice eerily calm despite the situation, "...Not to talk about Kurosaki like that."

"Shut up! You're his little boyfriend, aren't you!? Admit it, you little bitch! Say it to my face!"

At this point, Ichigo couldn't take it anymore. He couldn't stand by and watch this for another second. He felt a surge of red-hot anger rushing through his body. He didn't know what it was that ticked him off so much about watching Hitsugaya be bullied, but he sure as hell wasn't going to stand by and let it happen.

"Yeah, he's _my_ boyfriend, and so what!? What are you going to do about it!?"

He slammed his fist into the face of the student who had slapped Hitsugaya, then proceeding to give him a vicious kick to the groin - ha, that would teach _him_ to try and hit on Hitsugaya again! The rest of his cronies were dealt with in a similar manner - a kick to the face here, a punch to the stomach there. Soon enough, the whole gang was lying scattered on the floor, groaning in pain.

Ichigo slowly turned to the startled-looking Hitsugaya.

He held his hand out towards the small soul reaper. "You alright, Toshiro?"

"Yes...Yes, I'm fine." Hesitantly, he took Ichigo's hand, allowing the orange-haired teen to pull him gently to his feet. "I'm sorry, Kurosaki. I didn't mean to have you waste your time like that..."

"No, don't worry about it."

There was another silence before Hitsugaya coughed uncomfortably, quickly pulling his hand away from Ichigo. He cleared his throat, the icily authoritative tone now back in his voice. "And anyway," he snapped, as if nothing had happened, "I am _not_ your boyfriend, Kurosaki, so why'd you have to lie to that fool and tell him that?"

"What? You don't like the idea?" Ichigo teased, "Admit it, Toshiro, if you bothered sticking up to me...you must have a thing for me, huh?"

"Shut up!" Hitsugaya retorted, crossing his arms. "It's like I said. I-I'll be honest, I admire you a lot. But that's all!"

"You're so cute when you get all worked up!" Ichigo grinned affectionately, "Come here, you!" He grabbed Hitsugaya by the arm, pulling him over and wrapping his arms cheerfully around the petite body.

"Kurosaki, you idiot..."

"See, you're not resisting! You like it!"

"Shut up!"

Finally, Ichigo released him, ruffling the snowy-white locks with his hand. "You know, Toshiro, you're different than I thought you would be. You're not really a stuck-up little brat, are you? But anyway, hey - thanks for defending me. I appreciate it."

"Protecting those who mean something to you - and their reputations...that was something I learned from _you_, Kurosaki."

"Ah, so you _do_ like me!"

"I do _not_!"

"Well, even if you don't," the strawberry began with a grin, "I sure as hell think that right now..._I_ like _you_!"

"Shut up, Kurosaki!"

"Oh, come on, Toshiro! Don't be so cold!"

"I will if I want to."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever. Let's get to class now, okay? Don't want to be late..."

* * *

_Yes, it's true, Kurosaki._

_I admire you immensely. Everything you say, everything you do..._

_I won't admit it to you quite yet, but perhaps, just perhaps...Perhaps right now, I feel something more than mere admiration for you. I don't know how to say it, but I'm sure that I, like you, will have it in me to say it out loud one day. Just not today, not now...maybe not even anytime soon._

_And I also daresay that as of today, Kurosaki..._

_...Maybe I understand you a little bit better._

* * *

Author's Note: And, there you go! I've noticed something, though, and it's kind of annoying...a lot of my one-shots nowadays seem so repetitive! Like, it's always the cliche'd "Hitsugaya gets bullied and/or hit on by nasty pervs, and then Ichigo comes and rescues him, then it's happy day, happy ending..." Ahhh! I'm running out of story ideas! And I'm very sorry about that! Because of this...I would like YOU, the reviewers, to tell me what kind og a one-shot you'd like to see me write in the future! Give me a plot, an idea, a setting - whatever. Chances are, I'll do it. And thanks so much, I would really appreciate it!


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